While I love the fact that at Choices I see miracles happen before my eyes, one of the most fulfilling and rewarding aspects about coaching is -- I feel miracles happening within me whenever I'm there.
There were two things on the weekend that really gave me a chance to face my truth -- and choose to grow from what I learned.
On Saturday, I was responsible for a certain aspect of the activities. I did a good job, the best I could. A woman came up to me and said, "Thank you for being such a good leader." I laughed and heard the little voice in my head whisper, "She's just saying that. She doesn't mean it. She's lying." I thanked her for her support and said, "You guys did all the work and made me look good." I didn't want to take responsibility for being the leader and wanted to deny her truth by telling her, "Oh, I wasn't that good a leader." Fortunately, I didn't say that -- but the voice in my head really wanted me to!
Yesterday, a woman came up to me and said, "Your daughters are amazing. I love watching them together and with you. Your love for each other is wonderful to see."
I thanked her in one breath and then in the next discarded her compliment. "Oh but you should see us when we argue..."
It is a habit of mine. To take a sparkly moment and sprinkle dirt instead of fairy dust upon the gift of someone else's words of love.
And that's the miracle of Choices.
In the past, I would have done what I did and not noticed I did it. I wouldn't have noticed that I have a pattern of discarding compliments.
Inside me there is a voice that whispers, "Don't believe them. They're just saying that. They want something. Get them before they get you." It is the voice of the lie. It is the voice of my fears. It is the voice that would keep me a victim of living small.
Truth is, when someone compliments me, all I need to say is, "Thank you." Their truth is in their words -- not in the voice in my head that would deny their truth.
Truth is, when I compliment someone, I am speaking my truth. In discarding and disbelieving someone's compliments to me, I am actually saying, "Liar." And when I do that, I am treating them in a way they do not deserve to be treated.
Truth is, I did a good job on Saturday. I was appointed the leader of that group -- and I did my best. My best is good enough.
The truth is, I have two amazing daughters. They sparkle and shine where ever they go. They light up rooms and hearts with their laughter and their love. They are smart. Funny. Courageous. Loving and kind. Their voices are pure and sweet, their wisdom profound. They are awesome.
The miracle for me is that in having recognized the pattern of my behaviour, I get to choose what I do with my knowledge. I have the courage and the wisdom to Stop Doing It. I have the tools to break the pattern, to love myself enough to give myself the gift of forgiveness and the opportunity to change.
Dissing someone's compliment does not get me more of what I want in my life. It gets me less.
Listening to lies in my head does not get me more of what I want in my life, either. It only gets me less.
I want love and joy, peace of mind and serenity. It is what I deserve. When I do things that disrupt my serenity, that treat me as less than and others as less than, I am not living up to my truth. I am not being all that I am meant to be -- a magnificent human being. A Woman of Worth.
The question is: Are you a fairy dust sprinkler or a dirt dumper? Where do you listen to the lie and step away from your beautiful truth?